Thoughts driving home

When we first discussed this blog, talked about how women are perceived if they try to do it all (kids, job, school), I was prepared to be indignant.  I had the perfect first story of how a fellow female teacher told me that I couldn't do all that I was doing and do it well so I must be neglecting something and it was probably my kids.  But driving home from class Wednesday night, I called home to see who had done their homework and discovered that all of the kids (16, 14, 11, and 7) were playing a boardgame with their father and I could hear laughing and carrying on in the background.  My husband said, "we're fine, see you whenever you get here."  Then he hung up.  I thought of all the evenings that I  miss games and spending time with my kids.  I also thought of how much work I had to do when I got home as midterms are due and I had to grade papers.  I really thought my coworker might be right.  Am I half-assing the job of parenting my kids?  Am I sacrificing their childhoods for my own self centered desire to have that doctorate?  I had to shake the feeling off as I came in the door and put on a smiley face that I didn't really feel.  I do wonder how much of this guilt is just being a mom?  Is this a product of Appalachian expectations?  Is this a result of my own fears?  I really don't know the answers to these questions today.