Fire and Exhaustion

Last night the vacant house next to us caught fire. Luckily, my husband, a firefighter, was outside and was able to radio the fire into the station quickly. As a result, the only damage to our house has been some smoke, but that will hopefully dissipate quickly. However, this is making me play the "what if" game. What if my husband was giving our daughter a bath like I had asked him to? What if we had gone to church? What if he wasn't home and I didn't notice the fire? I'm not a very observant person, would the house had burned until it caught my house on fire? What if we had been asleep or playing in the basement? My stomach is literally churning as I type these questions that have been replaying in my mind since last night.

The kids and I had to evacuate and we stayed with my parents. We are safe and that is the most important thing....but now I start to question myself. What if we weren't ok? Have I wasted my children's lives by teaching and going to school? Mainly, is it worth it? I'm sure if I asked different people I would get many different answers...

A little bit of everything....

Been awhile since my last post, mainly cause life gets a bit crazy...

So many blogs, tweets, FB posts, news articles, YouTube videos, etc. about the shooting in Newtown, CT, and odd enough, for the first time in a long time, teachers are thought to be everyday heroes, rather than money-hungry lazy bums who are only in it for the summers off. However, I stop to think, "it took a tragedy for people to realize just how much teachers care for their students?"

Am I really involved in all the most under-appreciated occupations out there? Teacher, student, and mom? How can that be changed? Will it ever be changed? What would our culture look like if we honored teachers, lovers of learning, and mothers? How would I be different? Would my self-esteem change?

More questions than answers....