My "place"

"Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich"

Heard that one-liner recently?  Seen it on a t-shirt?  Raising my hand to both over here...and I don't like it.  It gives the impression that women are sub-par and 'deserve' to be in the kitchen.  If it was all a joke, then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be so offended, but it's NOT just a joke--too many people think it, believe it, and act on it.

I still feel that I am judged by how I look, how my children look and act, and the appearance of my house--rather than my educational contributions, or my intellect, or my leadership ability.  This bothers me.  Why would someone look at me and tell me that they would not choose me for a such-and-such leadership position simply because I am a woman?

Even in classes...it's there.  Men, and even sometimes women, will ask the question or make the statement about where my children are, or who is watching them, or who feeds them dinner...I can't recall the last time someone asked my husband that.

Men and women are different--I get it.  But I am tired of feeling continually pushed into the 'kitchen'...

Where are all the girls?

I had an exciting class today.  I am grad assisting my doc. chair and today was the presentations for the students' research.  All were wonderful and creative, but one really got me thinking.  Her paper was on the curriculum and why there is no real emphasis on women.  Specifically, she looked at the new common core standards and found only a few mentions of women.  Those particular sections were on things like, how did the Civil War affect women?  There was little emphasis on how women contribute.  She mentioned in her presentation that the curriculum should reflect the makeup of the population.  Where is our half of the curriculum?  The other disturbing part of her presentation was the survey of teachers reflected that a substantial amount of them didn't feel it was important to include women in the curriculum.  Holy crap!  The CCSS do  mention multiculturalism but doesn't specifically address gender studies.  I think this is a glaring example of how much work we still have to do.  With every class being made up of 50% girls, we really need to teach relevant and meaningful curricula that speaks to women and their contributions.  I think this is an insidious way to tell girls that they really don't contribute.  It also tells the boys the same thing.  That only things done and created by males are worthy of study and mention.  Geez!

Thoughts driving home

When we first discussed this blog, talked about how women are perceived if they try to do it all (kids, job, school), I was prepared to be indignant.  I had the perfect first story of how a fellow female teacher told me that I couldn't do all that I was doing and do it well so I must be neglecting something and it was probably my kids.  But driving home from class Wednesday night, I called home to see who had done their homework and discovered that all of the kids (16, 14, 11, and 7) were playing a boardgame with their father and I could hear laughing and carrying on in the background.  My husband said, "we're fine, see you whenever you get here."  Then he hung up.  I thought of all the evenings that I  miss games and spending time with my kids.  I also thought of how much work I had to do when I got home as midterms are due and I had to grade papers.  I really thought my coworker might be right.  Am I half-assing the job of parenting my kids?  Am I sacrificing their childhoods for my own self centered desire to have that doctorate?  I had to shake the feeling off as I came in the door and put on a smiley face that I didn't really feel.  I do wonder how much of this guilt is just being a mom?  Is this a product of Appalachian expectations?  Is this a result of my own fears?  I really don't know the answers to these questions today.

I guess it's my turn ...

I'm "elizzybeth," the professor in this band.  It's a ridiculous name, I know.  But by the time I got to gmail, it was the closest I could get to my actual name.  I like that I've landed with that name now, though, because I like to think that it subverts the student/professor hierarchy.

Hierarchy.  That's another thing that's interesting about Appalachia.  I prefer to be called by my first name, but that's a difficult thing for most of my students.  Of course, we're in an ed school, and teachers are in the habit of using each other's titles and surnames, but I have had the same experience with students who were not education majors or teachers.  I think it's got something to do with the power of tradition and habits of deference that are still so strong here.  And I have to wonder if those same things--tradition and deference, that is--aren't also related to why Rikki and Candice and so many of the other incredibly strong, smart, competent, and passionate women in my classes find their professional aspirations criticized and their parenting choices condemned ...